WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

...Or is something really wrong?

Good night/Good morning/Good afternoon everybody! (Whatever time zone you are in)

I've been questioning my life lately. I know everyone goes through that stage, some win in the end, some lose their sh*t. Right now I'm in the middle of both but I am so close to winning it. I've been thinking a lot lately. How come some people are lucky as hell while others face the most miserable experiences. What makes those people special? What can Kim Kardashian possibly have that I don't? I mean, I know I don't have a porn video but still, this question remains unanswered for me (you're supposed to smile here, if you didn't pls do.) Anyways, after thinking a lot, I figured out what my problem was. My problem is that I don't have one. My problem is that I am terribly bad at timing. Let me tell you something, whatever you are craving for right now will be yours when the time is right. We rush everything. When we want someting, we want it to happen as soon as possible. Believe me, when you learn how to wait, you'll solve %80 of your problems. (Damn I'm good at statistics.) Second thing is, we are so focused at those fancy lives that we see on social media, we forget all about the horrible things going on around the world. Do you have how many people are fighting with cancer and other bad diseases? How many children are living under war? How many of them lost their parents or how many parents lost their children? There are millions of people living on the streets. Do you know how lucky you are if you become happy when its snowing or raining while some die in the cold? I realized how blind i was when it comes to seeing bad things because I am so busy with being sad while Kylie Jenner is swimming in money that she does not deserve. Did you ever think about the possibility of living someone's dream life? This year, I wanted to visit New York so bad, I prayed every night and tried my best to convince my parents. They told me that it's not possible. It was going to cost a lot money, plus I had no one to go with me. After that I started to blame God for not giving me enough money while he can. I am sorry to say that but as human beings, we are ungrateful as hell. Currently, I have everything I need. I have a great phone, computer, shoes, clothes and many much more. He gave me everything I wanted but I never saw those things, I just blamed him for not giving me my travel money. How dumb I am.

I have a boyfriend who can easly get everything he wants, he wanted a car and his father got him one. A really good one. I don't want to sound like that jealous crazy b*tch girlfriend because I truly am happy for him, his happiness is my happiness. However, I am gonna admit that I felt so sad because it happened around the time that I couldn't go to New York. While we were on the phone, I told him that he was so lucky because he was able to get everything he wanted. He exactly told me these words: "me lucky? you don't know how lucky you are to have a family that loves you so much. They care about you. But I don't have that luxury."

That was the time when I realized money was not happiness. I realized how lucky I actually am. Money is so easy to earn, but not everyone is lucky to have a real "family" or "friend". So my point is, cars, fancy dresses, expensive bags are the least things you need to have in your life. Got it dude?

So, let's make a few things clear.

Believe in timing.

Be grateful.

First work for it, then expect it.

Everything will be just the way you want them to be. Just know how to wait.

Love you, whoever you are.

Feel free to write me anytime you want.

There is a chatbox at the bottom right ;)